The Possibility of Transformation

I took a painting that did not feel right...did not make me happy...and i changed it. Like re-painting an image, I believe that we can change elements of ourselves and our lives... but similarly we need to dare to make the change and begin again - taking the old and trusting things can be improved, enhanced, made to feel better. This video shows how transformation is gradual - a trial and error - a playing with elements to see where things fit- push and pull - keeping going. It's tough though, accepting that transformation happens in small changes and subtle shifts that gradually take form and mutate into something new. Trusting that even when things don't feel like they're shifting, they are...slowly. And, perhaps the hardest lesson for me is accepting that even when it all seems done, a review of things shows us further areas for change and enhancement...new possibilities and new ways of doing and being

In the middle

In the time that has elapsed since my last post change has been occuring. I have made a big decision which signfies my commitment to living my life in a way that feels personally meaningful and fulfilling. An authentic life. I have found that in trying to define my true self it is difficult to determine between what is real and what is fallacy. To seperate out what i want and need to be and what others want and need me has been difficult and is still somewhat of an ongoing puzzle. What society might say is successful and accomplished and what i see as successful and accomplished are sometimes at odds, and that in itself feels odd...it presents a tension that needs to be resolved inwardly rather than manifested outwardly, if that makes sense. This is real easy to write, harder to believe, even harder to practice and implement. But perhaps that is the word - practice and rehearsal and implementation...gradually 'performing' the way I want to...trial and error...time and repetition. This....



and this...."Free to Bloom"


are so implicitly linked don't you find..

So here i try to sit, in the middle of transformation. Not being one thing, not yet being another. Holding on tightly and trying to keep faith and hope that i am doing the right thing. Hoping that i am moving ever closer to becoming me ...i want congruence, familiarity and love within myself for myself. This is my journey. This is my struggle. I am getting there. We can all get there..... little by little...